Repressed Memory Surfaces, Goes Away, Surfaces Again

I am an experiencer. I’m not sure if I’ve made that clear in this blog before, but both Kay and I have some experiences with the entities most commonly known as the Grays.

My experiences with the Grays are not pleasant, and to be honest I don’t remember most of them. I believe they took place over a 3 or 4 year period when we were living in California. I won’t go into all of those experiences now, but I will share them in future posts as they become relevant.

The memory I want to share now, is something that surfaced originally over ten years ago. The weird thing is I can’t remember it directly, I can only remember, remembering it. If that makes no sense to you, then please bear with me.

Back before November of 2001, I was driving home from my job on a stretch of highway that had a farm with large piles of fertilizer right near the road. The smell of the stuff was overpowering, especially if you didn’t close your windows and put the car vents on recycle prior to getting near it.

While driving along, I was passing this farm and began to sneeze violently. The act of sneezing triggered a memory of me passing the same area months or years earlier, in a Pontiac Fiero that I used to own. While driving the Fiero, I had a sneezing fit, and I felt something solid inside the tissue I was using.

It was dark out and I turned on the overhead light to look at it. One end of it was bright blue, like the old Bic pen caps, and that was the first thing that ran through my mind, that I somehow had a pen cap up my nose. It was smaller though, less than an inch long, and shaped like a pill. The other side of it was clear, and I couldn’t tell if there was anything inside of it. The whole thing was mixed with a lot of mucous and a little blood, I was still driving at this time and only glanced at it quickly while keeping my eyes on the road ahead.

I promptly wrapped the item back in the tissue, and completely forgot about it, until that second sneezing fit brought it back into my mind. Once remembered, I fully intended to tell Kay when I got home that day, except that I couldn’t.

Every time I tried to mention it, it was like I went completely mute. I couldn’t write about it, speak of it or hint at it indirectly, because something in my brain would just cause me to lock up and be silent, until the subject changed and I would forget about it. The memory would slip away the same way that dreams often do upon waking.

Every so often it would be triggered again, and the frustration of not being able to communicate it was really annoying me. This week, it surfaced while in the car again, only Kay was driving this time. I was in the passenger’s side with my head back because I had a cold. I desperately wanted to say something, but was unable to, it was almost like being paralyzed because I couldn’t will myself to write it or signal her about it in any way. After a few minutes, she said something completely unrelated, and it slipped away again as I was able to answer her with no problem.

Finally, this morning, when we were listening to the opening remarks at the Experiencer’s Speak 2013 conference on Youtube, something the speaker said triggered the memory again. This time though, I could move, and I opened an email and started writing about it.

As I was writing, I realized that I could actually talk about it. I began to tell Kay, but I still felt the resistance lingering, like I wasn’t supposed to be talking about this. As I got the story out though I felt a great sense of relief.  As disturbed as I should be about the original event, I was more disturbed over the fact that I was not able to talk about it for over ten years.

Now at least I can say: What the hell was in my nose?! And once it was out, did the beings replace it? I believe that whatever form of suggestion they used, also had me forget about it in that original tissue so long ago.  I’m not sure why I was able to finally breakthrough and talk about it. Perhaps these commands weaken over time, since it has been a very long time since I had any sort of encounter. A more disturbing idea is that I was allowed to speak of it because it fit into some preset program they left in my head.

I can’t even say for sure that it was the Grays who put this thing up in my nasal cavity. It’s my best guess of course, but unless I remember when and how it was implanted I’m completely in the dark about its origin. Like so many things in the paraphysical, I’m left with way more questions than answers.