Two weeks ago, Kay and I went to the Experiencers Speak 3 Conference, a UFO conference in Portland Me, that is focused on those who have had direct contact with extra terrestrials. It was a good, but exhausting time. I didn’t leave with what I originally hoped to gain, but I did get a new perspective on my own abduction experiences.
When I first heard of this conference I was determined to go. I was hoping to connect with others like me and Kay, who have had these experiences, can sift through the enormous amounts of misinformation that surround them, and were genuinely seeking to make some kind of sense out of a subject that often appears to make no sense at all.
The structure of the conference was not really suited for connecting with our fellow attendees though. There was usually only a ten minute gap between speakers, and the schedule ran from 9am to at least 9pm on paper. In reality it ran much later and neither Kay or I had the stamina to stay there past 10pm. Unfortunately, this meant missing the Q&A portions of the conference which I would have found very interesting, but the only way I could have participated at that point would have been in an out of body state.
The majority of speakers were excellent though, and I give kudos to the staff of Starborn Support for putting together a conference of quality presenters. Peter Robbins was an excellent host, his knowledge of the field and his passion for the work really showed as he was speaking.
One of the highlights for me was the talk given by Mike Clelland. Mike has been focused mainly on the connections between owls and ufos, and the increase of synchronicities by experiencers. At one point in his talk Mike said that his friend had commented “But Mike, you’re not using the scientific method.” To which Mike answered “That’s okay, I’m not a scientist.” I’ve felt for a long time that the struggle to make these experiences fit into the classic scientific framework is holding us back from understanding them in a more holistic manner.
I was also very pleased to meet William (Bill) Konkolesky, who Kay and I spoke briefly with during the conference. Bill is a writer who has chronicled his expeeriences, without layering on some sort of mission or cosmic plan that many experiencers have to try and make some sense of it all. He is also a frequent lucid dreamer, and he and Kay spoke about having experiences of the aliens intruding on dreams. I highly recommend his book “Experiencer: Raised In Two Worlds” which chronicles his early abduction experiences.
During one presentation, I had a rather uncomfortable shock when David Chace was showing a slideshow of his artwork of different kinds of beings. I recognized one of the aliens he described as “football headed” from one of my own experiences. Somehow, this drove the reality of this home to me. The “football headed” alien is not one who has appeared anywhere in pop culture, like the grays, or even in UFO literature like the Preying Mantis. This being was about 4-5 feet high, with rough, saggy, brown skin, a wide mouth and dark eyes. It was one of a jumble of creatures I saw on the day I closed the vortex and ended my experiences.
Accepting the reality of these creatures on a more profound level was like swallowing a pill without water. You feel it slowly move down your throat towards your gut in a quietly uncomfortable torture. I guess just being at the conference itself was a way of me stepping out and acknowledging that these experiences were more that just my own personal sort of nightmares. Even though I had accepted that intellectually, I was now feeling it more emotionally.
Fortunately, some respite came later on when Linda Cortille was speaking. Linda was the focus of the book “Witnessed: The True Story of the Brooklyn Bridge UFO Abductions” by Budd Hopkins. Linda was a true New Yorker, and clearly uncomfortable speaking in public, even to a group as supportive as this one. She related to us an odd part of her life during the time that her and Budd Hopkins were investigating her experience, which involved Cardinal O’Conner. She provided some much needed laughter and relief during what was mostly heavy subject matter. There was one thing she said that stuck with me though, at the end of her talk. (I’m paraphrasing, of course.) “At the end of the day, there’s still food in the cupboards, you’re still here and you’re still whole.” For the majority of us, this is true. Even if we’re going through PTSD from our experiences, the normal, waking part of our lives is still the same, and we can take some comfort in that.
As I mulled Linda’s words, I realized that I no longer cared exactly what happened during those abduction years, I can deal with those memories as they surface. In the here and now, I’m more interested in understanding what the reality of these beings really means in my life. I don’t really care much about their politics, their breeding programs, their connections to the government, etc. These all feel like distractions to me and we’ll never sort out the truth from the misinformation anyway. But in the life I am creating, I’ve chosen these beings to play some kind of role. I still have some strong feelings which would tempt me to put that role in a negative light, but for now I am trying to suspend judgement and see if I can gain a new perspective on my experiences.